Kandy Goddess

My Story

I was born and raised here in the Portland area, born to parents who also grew up locally.

Although I was struggling with the bounds of monogamy basically from the beginnings of my journey, I married right out of high school at 19 years old.

After several years of marriage, the concept of non monogamy appealed to my husband and I, and we dabbled with friends, and dating apps that never lead to anything other than frustration and heartbreak.

We decided to check out a local weekly event in a space that no longer exists. We quickly became regular attendees, and found friends and connections there that I continue to foster to this day.

But: Life happened, schedules changed, and I found myself focusing more on work than play.

Then… the shared trauma that I don't think any of us will ever full recover from, the pandemic changed everything about our world.

At the very beginning of 2020 I entered a relapse of my auto immune disorder. I fell into a deep depression. I didn't have the energy to get off the couch and feed myself. I slept. I watched TV. Rinse and repeat.

When things started to open again… when the world started to get a little less scary, I found myself at a naturopath, attempting to find a way to feel like myself again.

It worked. I found just enough energy to go back out into the world. My husband no longer had any interest in venturing outside our walls, but encouraged me to do so on my own. As an avid karaoke enthusiast, I had been eyeing Naked Karaoke at Sanctuary for a while. If I remember his exact words they were: 'You know you'll have fun, just go.'

That night I met one of my best friends. It was their first night too. I spent the next year going to most every Friday karaoke night with them. I met good people, and had an amazing time existing in a tiny sliver of this community.

Then I met someone who introduced me to the concept of Polyamory. My world exploded. They introduced me to their people, I joined a Discord server with more interesting Kinky people. I made connections, started going to new, more interesting events, munches, ect. My social calendar, once boring and empty, was jam packed!

I discovered myself in polyamory. Although that initial connection didn't work out, The more research I did, the more I identified with the concept. It seemed so natural to me. I believe now it truly is my relationship orientation. I couldn't possibly go back to living any other way.

Also the self work it required, changed me completely. I had to challenge myself, question my own motives, find coping mechanisms and work on open, honest communication. I was raised to believe relationships were combat, and the one who walked away with dry eyes was the winner. This whole new way of life changed everything for me.

As I continued down the path of self discovery, starting therapy and working towards a more authentic version of myself, the preconceived notions of my upbringing melted away. I was raised very conservative, and those beliefs were hard to deconstruct. Today the concept of my younger self, and the things she stood for makes my skin crawl.

As I changed into a person I no longer recognized, my family weren't as happy about my transformation. Once upon a time that was my whole life. Birthday parties, camping trips, BBQ's, ect. Now I had new friends, new things that were important to me, and opinions that didn't align with their own.

I have spent the last 5 years setting boundaries I never thought I would be able to set. Walking away from 'family' that refused to embrace the new 'me'. It was hard to make those changes.

One year ago… Kinkfest 2025. Everything started to change again.

A few months prior to KF 2025, I went to a class that was designed to teach how to host events and how to teach classes taught by MaeveMcbride. I told her about an event idea I had. A stoplight party with color coded bracelets for Pickup Play.

She encouraged me to apply to host a community event at KF. Applications were closing that evening, so I had no time to doubt or be afraid. I submitted my idea. It was approved.

I eagerly planned, created visuals, researched ice breaker games. The morning of the event, Friday of Kinkfest 2025, I was handwriting flyers to hand out to people, expecting barely anyone would show up.

I laced myself into my best corset to give myself the badass feeling I needed to face the concept of being stood up by an entire convention……. And I was completely blown away at the attendance. I had planned for 50 thinking I was being wildly optimistic…. And damn near 100 people showed up. I was frantic. Running around, trying to answer questions, assign people to groups, explain that yes I was out of Top sheets because I wasn't expecting so many. I screamed myself horse trying to be heard over the crowd.

Kinkfest 2025 changed my entire life. No one knew my name, and by the end of that convention I felt like a rockstar. People were approaching me and thanking me. Telling me I did an amazing job. Saying how much they appreciated my idea, and how I ran things.

I walked away from the convention center, and I emailed Sanctuary, telling them of my success, and asking them to take a chance on me.

I had no idea how it worked, what I was doing. I had never done anything like it before. But I was on the calendar… and I was going to make it work if it killed me.

My first Sanctuary event was an instant success. I decided to launch my Market event. That was a huge learning experience, and it taught me so much.

I had more ideas than I knew what to do with! I kept having decent turnout, and before I knew it other club nights started falling into my lap. Before I knew it…. I was a bonafide Event Host running 3 events a month, plus a bi-monthly vendor faire.

This journey has been incredible. The most rewarding experience of my entire life. The admiration and support I have received has been overwhelming. The sense of community, being a part of something bigger than myself, is everything I ever could have wanted for the little girl inside me who grew up awkward, friendless and alone.

I have big plans, I am no where near done. The world is my oyster, and I plan to keep growing. Keep challenging myself to take it one step further. Reach for one rung higher. To keep holding space for this community to feel safe, respected, and seen.

Thank you to every single person who has helped me along the way.

What I Stand For

• Consent First & Always: Every event is built on enthusiastic, informed consent. Full stop.
• Inclusive & Welcoming: All body types, identities, and experience levels are celebrated here.
• Safety as Luxury: Dungeon monitors, clear rules, and harm-reduction resources aren't afterthoughts — they're features.
• Community Over Clout: This is a real community, not a brand. Connection is the goal.
• Education & Growth: Regular workshops, demos, and discussions keep us all learning.